That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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