i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
