the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Where is the hickey?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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