im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize