i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize