need another drink. this is the easiest way
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
