oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
