He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
