Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
