hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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