So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
