This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Blood and glitter go together right?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
