He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize