is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
