Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
