hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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