dude i'm inner monologue high
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
operation harelip BJ is a go
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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