FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
