ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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