question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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