Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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