so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
