i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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