I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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