The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
