just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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