ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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