thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I love having hate sex.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
