The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
well I can't set my house on fire every night
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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