i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
