ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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