Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
