I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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