i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize