I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize