I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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