he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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