somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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