Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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