Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
