I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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