I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I want to be your penis for a week.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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