he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
