so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
