Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
my poor anus
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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