He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
