she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
