Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
