I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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