i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I have post one night stand depression
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
