An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
