I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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