Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
