Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
