of course. lets lasso hookers.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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