Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize