just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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