I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
