weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's blow job season.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
