Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize