well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
