I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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