Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
