OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
