just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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