I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
