So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
