u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sext me about skeletons
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
