she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it was like eating out sand paper
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
