Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
