Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize