HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
