Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
