so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
