no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
