Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
