I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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