The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize