Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I want to have your abortion
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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