Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He shit in the fireplace
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
